Monday Funday

Yesterday was a great day. For the last 3 months I have gotten chemo every Monday. But not this week! Yesterday we traded that in for a heaping measure of good news.

KR and I reviewed my CT scan results with Dr. Feldman and he was happy with how everything looked. The tumor masses have reduced in volume by 40-50% and the number of tumors in my lungs has also decreased. Keep in mind that what remains is likely all 99.9%+ dead tissue but it means my body has been able to clear a lot of the dead tissue and less volume/numbers means easier surgeries.

After MSK I had a session with qigong master Sat Hon whom I met through a student of his (my friend Abby). He did some diagnosis and then acupuncture. After the needles were set he and KR left the room and I wept for about 5 minutes. Nothing specific in mind, just energetic release. He then taught me and KR some exercises we can do on our own. I look forward to seeing him again and learning more about qigong.

On our way home we got the news that my tumor marker was down to 84! this is excellent because the rate of decrease had slowed in the prior period to a daily average of 1.6% which had me concerned (to say the least) but it is back to 4.5%. These fluctuations and even a temporary rising of the number by ~10% can be OK but are also scary.  It’s also just nice to be in the double digits. I’ll be working on keeping up the momentum this week on our way to zero. They will test my marker every week until the number gets down far enough to move forward with the RPLND surgery which should hopefully be 6 weeks or so from now.

Thank you for the continued support and love – it is a game changer.

a few recent poems:


I walked in the early sunset
without you today.

crunching down the gravel road
dog out front, cat in back
sharp air drying my nostrils
cedar waxwings drunk and gossipping
woods open and bare,
ready for restful winter

we moved in silence
towards the pink and orange sky
and I, for one, imagined
how much you would enjoy it


let us choose to walk in hope,
to see the dark edge of fear
like the opening of a cave
to yell our names into
that black mouth and
listen for an echo,
hearing our names
returned to us

but when we move
let it be towards light
each step a stitch
as we sew our hearts


the first snow comes
like a benediction,
a white prayer
pouring out of the sky

a soft hand laid upon the land
to forgive us and strengthen us

the robins and waxwings
join the great hush,
waiting in this pause,
this grateful parenthetical,
to rise from the maples and
find their way South



  1. Larry Hayes says:

    Love the poetry, especially “this grateful parenthetical” — truly a great line!

  2. Such wonderful news jay! Keep it up. Your poems are very insightful and touching..:) have a great thanksgiving! Thinking of you. Xo

  3. Laura Sweet says:

    So very great to hear the positive news, and happy to know Aunt Lisa is on her way to visit. We continue to send you LIGHT and LOVE!

  4. love love love! endless love xo

  5. So wonderful to hear encouraging news. Big, big hugs from Brooklyn! (And beautiful picture, too!)

  6. Anna Davis says:

    Double love these poems so very much. xoxoxoox

  7. bart louwagie says:

    Hi Jay
    Beautiful news
    beautiful picture. Cosmos now a snow scape.
    Cover those markers for ever under the frost.
    The cosmos will be beautful again

  8. Sebastian Abbot says:

    Awesome!! So psyched to get this message!! Can’t wait to celebrate with you in person later in the year! Love ya, bro

  9. Awesome news, Jay! Thinking lots of positive thoughts here! Xo

  10. Good news Jay! We (the Deegans) think about you often. You are brave and kind to share your thoughts and feelings with us regularly. We’ll keep praying for you until that number you refer to goes to zero!!

    PS: E loved the first Pawling snow shot.

  11. Awesome news, keep it up Jay! And by “up” I actually mean keep those #s going “down”… you know what I mean. Sending you good vibes from Tejas.

  12. Hi Jay,
    it’s wonderful to hear such great news!!!!

  13. Double digits! Singles night is going to take on new meaning…!

  14. let’s talk RPLND when you’re ready–I got two under the belt… literally-ha!

  15. patty giesecke says:

    Oh Jay…..this is a balloon lady at the door moment. I am so happy I can hardly write…..
    You have done such a fantastic job taking on this dreadful disease (ahh…..ok, the bleomycin gets a wee bit of credit…) and in many ways, making it work for you! Keep up the good work and I will keep the love and positive thoughts a’ coming.

  16. Theresa Ryan says:

    I’m learning a great deal from your experiences. Thank you for sharing. xot

  17. Jay I’m so glad to hear that your recovery is going well. When this is over you will be a master of healthful living. Wasn’t the snow soft and wonderful today! Again I loved your poems. Thanks for sharing everything with us. Tian and I are following your progress and thinking of you often. All the very best, Brandt

  18. Jesse Randol says:

    Since Sunday we have been waiting, thinking about you both and so anxious for this good news!

    Love you both.

  19. Dr. Robin Lester says:

    Yes, Jay, you’ve just given us all an additional reason for Thanksgiving.
    Well done, Jay & Katie Rose, and sisters, and mothers and fathers, and old roommates and friends–folk musicians, teachers, thinkers, dreamers, and your niece and nephews, and those waxwings and robins and deer drinking from your MiniMer!

  20. Perry Henderson says:

    Jay – I have only met you once, but I truly enjoyed that and know you are a great friend to Kate.  So happy to hear this good news and pray that you continue to progress to full recovery!  If you body can get back to the health you clearly have in mind and spirit, you should be just fine. 

        Thanks, Perry  

  21. Ralph Linsalata says:

    Jay, great news and just in time for Thanksgiving. Happy Thanksgiving.

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